bdown

I'm glad this week is almost over. 

 Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

My Birthday is in a month.
Yeahhh.

I'm sitting in my living room right now, with my computer hooked to our surround sound where Michael has so carefully placed the speakers for the best sound quality. My room is a mess, I have one box barely packed. I'm moving in a week. I'm sad about it. 

This house, me and Michael, the period of time we had another roommate, and now another new roommate who I am actually quite fond of, has been fucking great. It's been a fucking journey, an adventure. I will miss it all. I'm only now realizing what a major transition point this has been in my life. I thank Michael, for everything. Without him I wouldn't be the person I am right now. I love you, Michael.

Now I'm going to be on my own. By on my own, I mean without my big brother. I will have three other roommates, and I couldn't be more excited to live with them but I will miss this little yellow house.

I'm growing up and I'm trying not to be scared about it.

I should write more.

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much.
And sometimes I wish I cared more.

I hate feeling pathetic.

I was reading Twilight today (I know, I know) and got to this part with a "new born vampire" anyways, this vampire chick is yelling and screaming and throwing a fit because she's thirsty for blood, you know all that vampire kind of shit.  I'll spare you the details of the story behind it, but in the end the other vampires get all the information they need to know out of this poor young vampire girl then kill her.

Funny this is, this vampire's name was Bree. (Spelled wrong, of course.)

I have to go to class in a half an hour and do a presentation on Diazepam.
I used too much glue on my poster.

I get irritated too easily.

I'm glad things are finally coming together with me and you. It took long enough, and despite the doubts from everyone else.. I knew things would work out in the end. So for everyone who told me to give up, or that it wasn't worth my time or effort, guess what? It was.

Mr. Kitters, I love you. You're the best cat ever. Right up there with Tom.

I'm not going to do a "Year in Review" because it doesn't seem like a new year to me. I don't feel any different, I don't feel like anything has really come to an end to talk about. So it's a new year? Big deal.

I don't like uncertainty.

I don't want you to leave.

I'm tired of being in the middle of things. I want things to start or things to end.
I feel like I'm stuck.


The end of the semester is going to be a very beautiful thing.

Stay the fuck out of my car. Don't break my fucking windows and don't steal my cds.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.
JESUS.

On the bright side, thanks for not taking my cd player faceplate this time and for not taking my parking permit.
FUCK.

don't understand.

Why are things so crazy? I can't wait until this semester is over. It'll be nice to have a fresh start on things, a new plan on how to conquer this thing called college. I need to be more focused in school. This is part of the reason things are so crazy, is because there are so many other things to be concerned about. So many other people having a tough time with issues that I may never encounter. I need to find a balance and stop distracting myself from everything around me. I want to make things better for everyone.

I feel like Zach Braff in Garden State when he's on X and everything around him is moving in super fast pace and he's just sitting there watching it all happen. Although, I'm not on X.

I wish life had a pause button.

That was the best conversation yesterday.
I want to post it.. but I won't.


Anyways, I know Thanksgiving has passed but I want you all to know that I am thankful for you. I'm also thankful for our new red aprons at Starbucks, because they're fucking sweet. Annnnnnd, now it's almost Christmas. Fuck yes. This is my favorite time of year. Too bad I don't have a fireplace in my house.

I think you're a fucking ass hole. I am struggling to understand your motives. I never trusted you, I never will trust you. There is absolutely no reason for the bull shit you pull. You're not cool, if that's what you're trying to prove. All it shows is how fucking stupid you are. Guess what? It won't work out. And you just fucked up what was about to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

So you know what? Fuck you. You're an idiot.

that people would stop sucking.