bdown

bdown @ 2009-09-18T10:59:00

2009-09-18T18:01:21Z

I'm glad this week is almost over.

bdown @ 2009-09-07T00:28:00

2009-09-07T07:29:21Z

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

bdown @ 2009-07-01T22:04:00

2009-07-02T05:05:40Z

My Birthday is in a month.
Yeahhh.

bdown @ 2009-06-24T13:39:00

2009-06-24T21:01:19Z

I'm sitting in my living room right now, with my computer hooked to our surround sound where Michael has so carefully placed the speakers for the best sound quality. My room is a mess, I have one box barely packed. I'm moving in a week. I'm sad about it.

This house, me and Michael, the period of time we had another roommate, and now another new roommate who I am actually quite fond of, has been fucking great. It's been a fucking journey, an adventure. I will miss it all. I'm only now realizing what a major transition point this has been in my life. I thank Michael, for everything. Without him I wouldn't be the person I am right now. I love you, Michael.

Now I'm going to be on my own. By on my own, I mean without my big brother. I will have three other roommates, and I couldn't be more excited to live with them but I will miss this little yellow house.

I'm growing up and I'm trying not to be scared about it.

bdown @ 2009-06-19T14:58:00

2009-06-19T22:09:24Z

I should write more.

bdown @ 2009-06-03T14:43:00

2009-06-03T21:44:18Z

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much.
And sometimes I wish I cared more.

bdown @ 2009-05-11T15:19:00

2009-05-11T22:20:22Z

I hate feeling pathetic.

bdown @ 2009-05-06T15:27:00

2009-05-06T22:37:36Z

I was reading Twilight today (I know, I know) and got to this part with a "new born vampire" anyways, this vampire chick is yelling and screaming and throwing a fit because she's thirsty for blood, you know all that vampire kind of shit. I'll spare you the details of the story behind it, but in the end the other vampires get all the information they need to know out of this poor young vampire girl then kill her.

Funny this is, this vampire's name was Bree. (Spelled wrong, of course.)

bdown @ 2009-05-05T13:27:00

2009-05-05T20:31:56Z

I have to go to class in a half an hour and do a presentation on Diazepam.
I used too much glue on my poster.

bdown @ 2009-02-02T16:38:00

2009-02-02T23:40:43Z

I get irritated too easily.

bdown @ 2009-01-04T22:54:00

2009-01-05T06:05:42Z

I'm glad things are finally coming together with me and you. It took long enough, and despite the doubts from everyone else.. I knew things would work out in the end. So for everyone who told me to give up, or that it wasn't worth my time or effort, guess what? It was.

Mr. Kitters, I love you. You're the best cat ever. Right up there with Tom.

I'm not going to do a "Year in Review" because it doesn't seem like a new year to me. I don't feel any different, I don't feel like anything has really come to an end to talk about. So it's a new year? Big deal.

bdown @ 2008-12-28T22:28:00

2008-12-29T05:31:04Z

I don't like uncertainty.

bdown @ 2008-12-16T16:15:00

2008-12-16T23:46:14Z

I don't want you to leave.

bdown @ 2008-12-09T10:48:00

2008-12-09T17:50:57Z

I'm tired of being in the middle of things. I want things to start or things to end.
I feel like I'm stuck.

The end of the semester is going to be a very beautiful thing.

Seriously?

2008-12-06T07:50:48Z

Stay the fuck out of my car. Don't break my fucking windows and don't steal my cds.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.
JESUS.

On the bright side, thanks for not taking my cd player faceplate this time and for not taking my parking permit.
FUCK.

I

2008-12-04T22:35:56Z

don't understand.

Trying to see clearer.

2008-12-04T03:23:44Z

Why are things so crazy? I can't wait until this semester is over. It'll be nice to have a fresh start on things, a new plan on how to conquer this thing called college. I need to be more focused in school. This is part of the reason things are so crazy, is because there are so many other things to be concerned about. So many other people having a tough time with issues that I may never encounter. I need to find a balance and stop distracting myself from everything around me. I want to make things better for everyone.

I feel like Zach Braff in Garden State when he's on X and everything around him is moving in super fast pace and he's just sitting there watching it all happen. Although, I'm not on X.

I wish life had a pause button.

In The Mirror

I look in the mirror
To see what my hair is doing
Is it kind of skywalker
Or is it kind of stupid?
But that's not the real reason i'm looking
I need a reminder of what i'm doing
I need a reminder that i'm human

In my dreams i love you like
A snowstorm in the night
The windows open wide
Here comes reflected light
We can keep the covers up
It's like we never stop

But do dreams ever do damage to life?
When you need so much
You can't get it right

Who else is here today?
I'm alone but can't obey
Swim on my back at night
Near my clothes and a flashlight

I look in the mirror
Why am i complicated?
I'm trying to see clearer
The sun has faded

Oh. Hey Cathy,

2008-11-29T22:12:01Z

That was the best conversation yesterday.
I want to post it.. but I won't.

Anyways, I know Thanksgiving has passed but I want you all to know that I am thankful for you. I'm also thankful for our new red aprons at Starbucks, because they're fucking sweet. Annnnnnd, now it's almost Christmas. Fuck yes. This is my favorite time of year. Too bad I don't have a fireplace in my house.

bdown @ 2008-11-25T14:27:00

2008-11-25T21:38:16Z

I think you're a fucking ass hole. I am struggling to understand your motives. I never trusted you, I never will trust you. There is absolutely no reason for the bull shit you pull. You're not cool, if that's what you're trying to prove. All it shows is how fucking stupid you are. Guess what? It won't work out. And you just fucked up what was about to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

So you know what? Fuck you. You're an idiot.

I wish,

2008-11-25T08:20:04Z

that people would stop sucking.

bdown @ 2008-11-13T23:41:00

2008-11-14T06:44:42Z

I often find myself wondering what careers I could possibly do, and make a lot of money at that doesn't involve going to to college.
I haven't come up with anything yet. So now I'm going to do my homework.

This is it.

2008-11-03T20:12:14Z

If you're not going to try, then why should I?
I can't help you until you help yourself.

I'll be here waiting for you.
I'll be here if you need me.
I believe in you.

All we need is a little bit of momentum
To break down these walls
That we built around ourselves

Show me your momentum.

I'm sorry.

2008-10-29T06:27:49Z

I wish you would talk to me more. I don't know how our relationship got to be like this. I feel like you don't care about anything anymore. I can understand that though. You've been through a lot lately, and you have no idea how sorry I am for that. It's not fair, none of it is. But I wish you would just talk to me about it. I want to know what you're feeling. It kills me inside to not know what to do for you. I have no idea what I should say to you because I seem to only make you mad, or annoy you. I know that I tend to make things worse, and I don't mean to.

I miss how things used to be. I don't know how to get back to that. I don't know how to make things better. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry if you're mad at me. I'm sorry that I have contributed to a part of all the things that have seemed to gone wrong lately. I'm sorry if you feel like I abandoned you. I'm sorry for being shitty. I'm sorry for not caring. I'm sorry for not listening. I'm sorry for not trying harder.

I'm sorry for everything.

I love you more than anybody.
When you're hurting, I'm hurting.

Things will get easier. I know that I say that a lot. But they really will. You're handling things well and I admire you for that. I admire you for your strength. I admire everything about you. You make me a better person. You're my other half and without you, I'm nothing.

I love you.

The closer I get to feeling, is the further that I'm feeling from alright.

oh man.

2008-10-24T21:17:05Z

Well, I haven't posted in awhile. I'm really bad at online blogs. Oh well, what can you do?

Eventually I'm going to do one of those !0 facts things.. I don't know what you call them. I have a lot I could say, I just usually don't say it. I think that's an issue I sometimes have. I need to work on it; try and tell people what's up more.

Anyways, thanks for puking all over my shit, Ryan. So gross. Whatever. It was really funny. You're lucky I'm such a good person. Just an f.y.i. And stop feeling so bad, we don't hate you. Plus, we have pictures of you passed out. So it all works out, eh? Ha. Look out facebook.

I'm all moved into my new house. It's awesome. I like being on my own. I feel a lot more independent and I like that. On the other hand, school is kind of kicking my ass. I need to stop treating it like it's high school. I suck at doing readings and studying. Sooooo I'm kind of fucked. I need to figure out college.

Jack's Mannequin on Sunday. I'm SO stoked.

Word.

bdown @ 2008-10-13T22:54:00

2008-10-14T06:15:36Z

fuck! my leg is so itchy!

other than that..
my life is about to take a really big change.
i'm moving out and in with my brother and i'm transferring to a different starbucks.

i'm scared, but i'm ready.
i'm ready for a change and i'm ready to be independent.
plus, i'll be closer to campus.
hopefully this will make things easier? maybe?

annnnd, it's really cold outside.
but i love it.
jackets and hoodies are my favorite clothing item.
yay winter.